The trouble with me is I put women on a pedestal.
You gotta stop going out with short women.
For instance, what happens when you talk to a girl about sex?
I get the hiccups.
It's like an allergy.
You see, whenever I think about sex, l, uh....
I'd like to see the coach's face when he finds out we've gone to Palm Springs.
And he's stuck with all that health food.
-I don't think we should've run out on him. -I say we're entitled to a break.
Yeah.
And what could be more of a break than spending our Easter vacation...
...without listening to old dog-face yelling:
"Men, when you get out there, you're not just playing ball.
-You're--" -On a field of combat.
Where winner takes all and loser takes nothing.
I'll be darned. Hi, coach.
Well, how about that, gang, huh?
Well, what do you say to a cheer for old Coach Campbell, huh?
Let's show him that the team's still got that old fight...
...and yell left in them, huh?
Coach Campbell. Coach Campbell.
Hip, hip, hooray. Hip....
We're dead.
So.
Sneaked off like thieves in the night, huh?
Keep it down, you gang!
Oh, coach, everybody else is cutting out for Easter.
And you gotta admit we've been playing pretty good ball lately.
And if we would've asked you, you would've said no.
-You're sure of that, are you? -Well, l--
When are you clowns gonna learn that I happen to be a very nice guy?
All right. You men wanna go to Palm Springs for Easter?
- Yeah. - Sure.
Four-0 with me.
Hey, how about that?
Lots of desert to hike over.
Running in the sand helps build up the ankles.
Good, clean air to breathe.
Or we stay right on this bus and head back for Los Angeles.
-Come on, coach, we deserve a break. -How about, you know, a little rest?
-We've been working hard. -Think it over.
May l?
I don't care.
-You going to the Springs too? -Mm-hm.
Good. Where's home?
Rexford Drive.
-Beverly Hills? -Mm-hm.
Pretty fancy address.
Yes. Well, you see, my father's quite successful.
How's he doing, Mike?
He is?
We're staying at the La Casa Yates.
It's probably not as nice as you're accustomed to...
-No. -...but they might have a room left.
Oh, you think so? Please.
Well, it might be nice to stay at one of those smaller out-of-the-way places.
Thanks.
It's your lighter.
Thank you.
"Easter invasion begins."
Oh, my. Bunny!
Coming.
I don't know how your father's going to stand all those teenagers...
...and the income-tax deadline.
That's because my father's no ordinary chief of police.
-He's a tiger. -Oh, he's nothing of the kind.
He's an ordinary middle-aged man with very high blood pressure.
Oh, give the grapefruit with the cherry to your father, dear.
Shooting off fireworks at Easter. It's un-American.
Mother, you go through the same thing every year.
Bunny, you know very well that by the end of every Easter...
...the veins in your father's neck swell up twice their normal size.
But they always go down again.
It's worse this year.
He couldn't button his collar yesterday. And this is just the start of the week.
Cheer up, Mom.
Maybe it'll rain, then all the kids will go home.
-Good morning, Cora. -Good morning, dear.
Start with your grapefruit, darling.
Bunny, you'll be late.
-Good morning, Bunny. -Good morning, Dad.
There's the smell of rain in the air this morning, hm?
There's not a cloud in the sky.
That's what I was afraid of.
Cora, you left the pit in.
-It's good for you, dear. Swallow it. -Swallow the pit?
Oh, Cora, not another one of your tranquilizer pills.
I gave you one last year and it saw you through very well.
Almost saw me out of my job.
Found me fast asleep on a fairway at the Eldorado Country Club.
You never did explain what you were doing at the country club.
I was investigating reports of an open-pit barbecue on the fourth green.
Couldn't the Red Cross declare Palm Springs a disaster area?
Oh, Cora, please. I'm only asking for an expression of faith.
I would like to feel that you think...
...that I am capable of handling a few young hoodlums...
...without the aid of an anesthetic.
Oh, for heaven's sake.
-What's the matter with you? -I resent the generality, that's all.
Why is it everyone thinks that up till 1 2 years of age you're cute...
...and after that you're Jack the Ripper?
Don't be disrespectful, Bunny.
I'm only trying to say, that these kids come to Palm Springs...
...to get a little sunshine and have some fun.
-Not to start a war. -Bunny.
Oh, never mind. I'm late for work.
-I fix breakfast, no one eats it. -Going out tonight, dear?
I have no plans to join the invasion forces, if that's what you mean.
-So put your mind at ease. -Oh, now, come on, now, Bunny rabbit.
You don't think it's a question of my not trusting you, do you?
Well, no, not really.
Of course not. It's just that I remember when I was a young college fella.
I bet he was a terror.
It wasn't very often I took no for an answer.
Yeah, but you were too smart...
...to mess around with the daughter of the chief of police, huh?
- Bunny. - Oh, now, Mom.
There's a musket in the attic if there are any direct attacks on the house.
Oh, Bunny.
- Excuse me. - Darling, you never finish your breakfast.
No one ever finishes their breakfast.
Goodbye, darling. I'll try to get home for dinner.
Remember your blood pressure, dear.
Don't panic, Cora.
It's the beginning of a gay week.
Rest stop. Fifteen minutes.
Everybody rest.
-Want a cold drink while we're waiting? -Yes, please.
Looks like a madhouse in there. Why don't you wait here?
Oh!
Hello?
Oh, hello, Dad?
No, this is Henry Blanchard, Eric.
Oh. May I speak with my father, please, Mr. Blanchard?
He's not here.
Your father and the new Mrs. Dean are honeymooning at Acapulco.
He went and did it again, huh?
He didn't say if he was planning to stop in Palm Springs, did he?
-No, he didn't mention it. -Oh.
Well, next time you see him, just say that Eric sends regards.
No, you better say "your son."
Yeah, make it "your son sends regards."
" Eric" may not ring a bell.
Hee-hee-hee. You're a cute bunny.
Well, thank you. What's your name?
Eric Dean.
And I'm delighted to make your acquaintance.
I wasn't talking to you. I asked him.
Oh, I beg your pardon.
Hi. I'm Bugs Bunny.
-Take me with you. -Well, I don't know.
Before you answer that, I think I'd better tell you, where he goes, I go.
We're a set.
Oh?
Well, I think I could trust Mr. Bugs, but I'm not so sure about you.
Well, at least we could drive you to Palm Springs.
And Bugs is a sparkling conversationalist.
All you have to do is pull the string.
No, I don't think so. Thanks, really.
-Why not? -For one thing, my bags are on the bus.
We can pick your bags up at the station.
And I'll drive you anywhere you wanna go, anywhere.
-No, I don't think I should. -Oh, of course you should.
Bugs wouldn't steer you wrong. Climb aboard.
I didn't get your name.
Jane-- Gail Lewis.
Where you from, Gail?
My parents live in Beverly Hills. I'm just home on a vacation.
I'm a junior at the University of Hawaii.
Oh, do you do much surfing there?
-Of course, all the time. -Mm-hm.
Hold it. You're in training, remember?
I'll get rid of them.
Hi, coach.
-Hi. -Hi, coach. How you doing?
-Good to see you. -Good to see you.
- Hi. Hi, guys. - Hi, coach.
Nice day.
Howdy.
Well, hi.
Hey, cowboy, that thing give milk?
Never tried to find out.
What's it doing out of the pasture?
Don't sell her short, buddy.
There's a lot of life left in this little old dogie.
Well, now, what do you say we give her a try?
Oh, no. I'm too young to die.
Besides, I don't plan to kill myself out here on the highway.
Well, bless my soul.
Get along, little dogie.
Thanks for the lift.
Here, take these inside. Wait a minute.
-There you go. -Thank you.
-You like going fast, don't you? -You didn't have to run him off the road.
-He might have gotten hurt. -Aw, wait a minute.
When am I gonna see you again?
I don't know. I'll be here all week.
Well, let's have lunch at the Riviera, huh?
The Riviera?
Well, what's wrong with that?
Nothing.
Okay, I'll pick you up at noon.
All right.
Aloha.
-Do I pay you now? -Later is okay.
Haven't got any liquor or firearms in your luggage, have you?
-No. -Hacksaws?
Hacksaws?
Last year a roomful of girls sawed a hole in the floor.
That's a weird thing to do.
Wasn't weird at all. Right below them was a roomful of boys.
Can't fight nature, I guess.
Room 204.
House rules are on back of the closet door, but I've got two special ones:
Number one, you come in here with liquor on your breath...
...and I'll throw you out on your rudder.
Number two...
...no cross-pollination with members of the opposite sex.
Oh, and I'll send you up a roommate.
I won't expect too much, but do the best you can.
-Hello. -Oh, you're a young one.
I'm 21. Would you like to see my driver's license?
Please, every Easter this town is filled with 21 -year-old teenagers.
Did you come about the job or do you want a room?
I'd like a room, please.
I have one bed left in a double room.
Twelve dollars a day.
Oh, um....
Too steep for you?
Well, do you have anything less expensive?
I'm sorry.
Thanks anyway.
Honey, you won't find anything cheaper.
-I won't? -Come here.
Maybe we can work something out.
I've been trying to get a babysitter for my son this week.
Interested?
In babysitting?
Well, it's free room and board.
If you want the job.
It must be fate.
I'll take it.
Room 204, up the stairs.
Oh, and don't forget your luggage.
Now, you get all settled while I round up the little monster.
Oh, he couldn't be that bad.
That's what I keep saying, but he always makes a liar out of me.
-Thanks. -Uh-huh.
Howdy.
Well, hi. You're all right.
Oh, I'm fine. Here, let me give you a hand.
Thank you. What are you doing here?
Well, I figured on staying here.
Well, now that's a coincidence.
Not really.
I reckon if it's good enough for you, it's good enough for me.
My room's upstairs.
Well, lead on.
All right.
You know, that husband of yours sure drives like a Texas twister.
Don't be silly. I'm not married.
Well, then that boyfriend, then.
That was not my boyfriend driving the car.
Well, now, don't tell me you're keeping company with that long-eared fuzzy one?
I'm not keeping company with anyone.
Sure enough? Well, that's fine.
Oh, my name's Doug Fortune. Friends call me Stretch.
How do you do, Stretch? My name is Gail Lewis.
-Pleasure. -Mm-hm.
Say, you're a long way from home, aren't you?
No, ma'am. I'm from Hollywood.
-With that accent? -Well, I've lost most of my accent.
Folks back in Harmony can hardly understand me anymore.
-Harmony? -Harmony, Texas.
-And you probably never heard of it. -No.
Well, it's not very big.
A feller once said it's so small that the city-limit signs are back to back.
-That's very funny. -We laugh about it quite a bit too.
Of course, nobody talks to that feller anymore.
We're kind of proud of Harmony.
Do you work in Hollywood?
Well, I'm in the movie business.
Really? What do you do?
Get killed, mostly. I'm a stuntman.
You silly. 204, here I am.
Here. Allow me.
Well, hello there. Isn't this a swinging place?
-Beg your pardon, ma'am? -Oh, no need to apologize.
Just step right in, sonny.
I appreciate the thought, ma'am, but this here's your roommate.
-Miss Gail Lewis. -Oh.
Hi, Gail. Amanda North.
Hi.
-Thanks, Stretch. -Sure.
See you later, huh?
Yep.
Oh, what a rotten shame.
That cowboy yours?
Well, I'll have to think about it.
You mean, you've got a choice?
Yes, sort of.
-Oh, well, that figures. -Hm?
Well, look at you. You're just what they want.
Where's your fella?
That's what I keep shouting.
Where's my fella?
"Forget it!"
Come in.
This is Boom-Boom.
It bites, hits, spits and swears.
Oh, but you're only to hit back in self-defense.
Now, shake hands and come out fighting.
My last sitter had a nervous breakdown.
Oh?
Sitter?
Well, it was the only way I could swing the price of the room, you know?
Hey, give me that.
Stop! Or I'll disintegrate you.
Give that back.
Okay.
Let's be friends.
You win.
No hard feelings, huh?
No.
Hey, take it easy. I'm just a kid.
Never tangle with a girl who knows judo, buster.
Wow! Will you teach me judo?
Are you gonna behave yourself?
For you, I guess I'll have to.
And what about me?
You haven't got a chance.
For this, I have to pass up a lunch date at the Riviera.
Oh, go on, keep your date. I'll watch the evil one.
No, I couldn't let you do that.
Oh, forget it. I've got a motive.
I'm not gonna hook a man till all you dreamboats are taken.
-Really? You'll do it? -Mm-hm.
Thanks. You're a doll.
Spread the word around.
Okay.
Ugh.
Let's go, Boom-Boom.
What do you do for kicks?
Come on down to my room and I'll show you my model trains.
Are you sure you're only 9 years old?
Let's go.
Look, fellas.
- Let's make a run for it. - Okay, okay, hold it.
Hold it. All right, come on back, you guys.
No use you guys overdoing it.
It's all right. It's only 1 0 blocks from the bus depot.
Hey, how about a few times around the motel before we check in?
No, no, no.
No, you guys look like you've had enough.
In fact, you're starting to look kind of fuzzy.
-You okay, coach? -Oh, great.
Great. It's the thin mountain air.
But, coach, we're below sea level.
Who asked you?
Hup, one, two.
Hup, hup, two.
Hup, inside.
Well, look at that.
Good afternoon.
Hey, what do you think this is, a flophouse?
Get your feet off of the furniture.
And stop playing ball in the lobby.
Good afternoon, madam.
What do you want? And don't call me madam.
We have reservations.
Do they all belong to you?
Well, you might say that I made them what they are today.
Yeah! Yeah!
Hold it.
I'll bite. What are they?
Only the number one basketball team on the West Coast.
Hear, hear, hear!
I happen to be their coach.
Hear, hear, hear!
Quiet. Quiet!
Well, you'd better get them up here to register.
Can they write their names?
They're college students.
Ooh. That don't mean they can write.
A little spitfire, huh?
All right, boys, line up and register.
Come on.
Hold it. Orderly. Order, boys.
Watch it, men.
My, this is certainly a fun group, isn't it?
Fellow, that will be on your bill. Boy.
Watch it. Watch it.
Hey, Biff, come on. Register.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Oh, that's okay, buddy.
Buddy? I happen to be a girl.
Don't worry. Your secret's safe with me.
He's a wise guy. Why don't you flip him?
Hey, come on, aren't you gonna get cleaned up?
In a minute. I've almost got it.
You've been working on that secret weapon of yours for a year now. What is it?
What is it? Instant romance.
What's that?
Why, this incredible machine is guaranteed to make its operator irresistible.
Watch.
Ready?
-Oh, my goodness. -Good heavens.
Who turned out the lights? Oh, someone's attacking me.
You'll get us thrown out of here on the first day.
Then two years of school in Switzerland, a year in Paris, here I am.
Sounds wonderful. Don't you miss all those places?
At the moment, no.
George.
-Yes, Mr. Dean? -We're thirsty. Bring us two specials.
I beg your pardon, but I have to ask the young lady for identification.
Young lady, the jig's up. Identify yourself.
-Thought you could pull a fast one, huh? -Sir.
All right, take notes.
Miss Gail Lewis, 61 50 Rexford Drive, Beverly Hills, California.
-Got that? -Yes, sir.
She's 5-foot-2, weighs a hundred pounds.
How about that, George?
-Very good, sir. -Very good?
My dear man, that's perfect.
Yes, Mr. Dean, but the date of birth?
She's 21, George.
But, Mr. Dean, please.
Two specials, sir.
Thank you.
You gave him a very bad time.
Oh, they humor me here. My father owns a piece of the joint.
-Really? -It's one of his sidelines.
Actually, he's a professional bridegroom.
What do you mean by that?
Old Dad's been married four or five times.
-Four or five, hm? -I may have forgotten one.
I'm sorry.
-So is Dad. It's an expensive hobby. -I wasn't thinking about your father.
-I meant you. -Don't be sorry. It's kind of fun.
If you're in town next Mother's Day, you'll have to come to the rally.
You don't like to be serious, do you?
Well, not with all these people around.
Why...?
Why don't we go upstairs?
Well, just to change. For a swim.
You're not very subtle, Mr. Dean.
Perhaps it's because you're so pretty, Miss Lewis.
I'll wait here.
Excuse me.
Here you are, Miss Eder. I hope you enjoy your record.
Thank you. I'm gonna play this on my television show.
-Good. -Will you say hello to your father for me?
-I will. Thank you. -Bye.
Bye.
Nothing moves me. Let's go.
You go ahead. I'll see you later.
No good. Native.
You can swing better with the out-of-town chicks.
Ooh. Later.
May I help you?
Oh, uh, yes.
I'm trying to find a record.
Well?
-Well? -What's the name of the record?
Oh. Oh, I'm not sure.
Well, who recorded it?
A couple of fellas, I think, with guitars.
That doesn't give me much to go on.
How about if I sang the melody for you?
Maybe. How does it go?
I can't hear you.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Maybe if I got a little closer.
Oh.
Recognize it?
I don't know the melody, but the routine is familiar.
Good. Now that we've met, maybe we can get to know each other better.
What did you have in mind?
-Do you like swimming? -Love it.
I'm staying at this place, the La Casa Yates, and they have a beautiful pool there.
What time do you close shop?
The owner takes over at 3.
I'll be waiting.
All right.
You forget something?
Yes. Your name.
Bunny.
Hey, cowboy, is that the way you sing that song in Texas?
What's wrong with it?
Well, I mean, it's not....
Well, how do you sing it?
Well, a little more life. A little rhythm.
Like this.
Yeah, that's it.
Let's sing it again.
Did you hear about the fella who walked up to a guy on the street?
He says, "Can you give me 1 5 cents for a sandwich? "
And he says, " I don't know, let me see the sandwich."
See, he had the sandwich.
Or the fella that checked into a hotel.
He calls down and says, " I got a dead bedbug in my room."
The manager says, "A dead bedbug won't hurt you."
He says, " No, but you ought to see the funeral his friends are throwing for him."
I got a whole lot of them like that.
See, he had a dead bedbug.
Or as General Custer said:
"l don't know what's the matter with them lndians.
They were all right at the dance last night."
Hey, what's the matter? What are you laughing at?
"Let me see the sandwich."
Maybe I'm wrong.
Yes, sir.
One more time.
Bye-bye.
Science, anyone for science?
"All my love."
Oh, hello there. How are you, girls?
My goodness, you look lovely in your bathing suits and everything.
I don't suppose you'd be interested in a little scientific experiment.
I have this experiment that I've been working on and l--
You wouldn't be interested in science.
Say, miss.
Well, bless my soul. If it isn't, uh....
Oh, don't tell me. I'll just be embarrassed.
-Sheila. -Bunny.
Bunny. Bunny, of course.
-Bunny Smith. -Dixon.
Dixon. That's what I said.
My goodness, I haven't seen you since the Youth for Science convention...
...in Long Beach back in....
Oh, uh, you weren't there at all.
-Sorry. -Uh....
Don't tell me you have no interest in science whatsoever.
No, I didn't say that.
Wonderful. Oh, wonderful.
-Perhaps you'd be-- -Hi, Biff.
Oh, hi.
I have this little scientific experiment that I think maybe--
Have you two met?
Have we met?
Are you kidding?
Why, Bunny and l have been friends for ages. Years.
It seems like just yesterday that we were just hashing over old times...
...and all about....
Hey.
I got it now. The record shop.
You're the local girl.
You and her.
Well, that's the way the bunny hops.
Don't say I didn't warn you, Dr. Jekyll.
Ahem. Well, see you later, Sheila.
-Dr. Jekyll? -He ribs me about that all the time.
-You see, I'm studying medicine. -Oh, good for you.
Oh, I'm not there yet. It's a long haul.
At least seven years, if I'm lucky.
Then why do you waste your time playing basketball?
It's very simple. I'm on an athletic scholarship.
Well, you're doing it the hard way, aren't you?
Yeah.
When Biff and the rest of the gang are out of school and married...
...I will still be going to classes.
I've heard of medical students getting married.
I don't know.
I don't think a fella can successfully study medicine and run a marriage.
Do you think you can stay away from girls for seven years?
I manage to have a few dates.
One cannot ignore the biological urges, you know.
Would you want the girl you expect to marry...
...to indulge in her biological urges too?
No.
In the meantime, you're not adverse to the experiences yourself.
Hey, look, I won't be an MD for another seven years.
That's a long time to hold hands.
In other words, the girl you have an affair with can never be the girl you marry.
Hey, how did we get on this subject anyway?
Hi. Hi, Bun.
Ruthie. How did you get mixed up with this crowd?
I met this basketball player.
They must be very popular this week. I met one too.
Jim, Ruthie.
-Hi. -Hi.
-Mine's the captain of the team. -Shh!
That's funny, so is mine.
Pardon me while I drown myself.
We share the honors. Kind of co-captains.
I'm having some kids over to the house. Love to have you two.
-Sounds great. -Fine.
If there's anyone you'd like to invite, they're welcome.
But if you bring a gang, bring some extra food.
- Will do. - See you tonight.
-Bye. -So long.
I've been reading for two hours. I'm getting a little tired.
Okay, forget the book.
Teach me some more judo.
You're supposed to take a nap.
Flip me once more, and I'll go upstairs.
-Word of honor? -You got it.
Okay. Come up behind me and make out like you're gonna strangle me.
Okay.
Oh, for heaven's sakes.
Shh.
What are you, some kind of lunatic?
Okay, everybody out. Here we go.
Bring the sandwiches.
Step it up. It's party time.
Watch your head. Watch your head.
Hey, let me know when it's Thursday.
- Hi. - Hey, welcome to Shangri-la.
Hope you don't mind. We brought friends.
The more the merrier. Come on in, everybody.
How'd you ever get your mom's okay?
I didn't. She and Dad went to Vegas for a few days.
Now, look, there's beer and soft drinks in the kitchen.
The bedrooms are off-limits.
If you wanna go in the pool, you have to wear a suit.
You didn't tell me this was going to be a formal affair.
But of course.
Don't worry about us. We'll introduce ourselves.
All you guys with food, follow me to the kitchen.
Put the food on the counter over there.
Put the beer in the tub over here. Put all the food on the counter.
Food on the counter. Watch my pyramid. Watch it, now.
-Hi. -Don't touch me.
All I said was hi.
Now, cut that out.
I only wanted to apologize for this afternoon.
No apology necessary, I assure you.
I understand, and all is forgiven. Good night.
Now, just a minute.
You lay one hand on me, so help me, I'll make a scene.
Well, I was only trying to get acquainted.
Well, I'm very flattered.
But believe me, I don't think there could ever be anything between us.
I'm not in good enough shape.
-Well, you can dance, can't you? -Not a step.
I don't believe you.
-Now, would I lie to you? -Yes.
Oh. No, I wouldn't either.
Last summer I injured both knees mountain climbing.
And I can't do a thing with them. Look.
Look at that. Do you expect a man to dance in that condition?
Good night.
-Ooh! Ooh! -Now, listen, this is getting embarrassing.
Come on, let go of the arm.
People are looking. Come on.
I've never had to beat a man into dancing with me.
-But there's always a first time. -Okay, okay, I'm dancing.
See? Look.
Come on. At least let me lead.
-Mm-hm. -Okay. Oh! Ooh! Ooh!
You know, my daddy grows the biggest chickens in Harmony.
They are so big that we have to build separate barns for each.
Move on, cowboy.
The lady asked me to sit down.
-Get lost. -Eric, please.
Don't push me, mister.
Well, now, is this where we slap leather, cowboy?
Or would you be satisfied with a few loose teeth?
I don't know where you was raised...
...but where I come from, we don't start fights in other folks' homes.
I didn't mean to spoil your good time. I'm sorry, ma'am.
Young feller.
Eric, let's dance. Come on.
Fred, Tom, Jerry, Louie, you come with me.
The rest of you guys go in the back.
You're off-limits. There's beer in the kitchen.
Who are you, chickie?
Well, I live here. It's my party.
In that case, let me pour you a shot of your booze.
-Please put that away. -Come on, come on, now.
You don't wanna be a stiff at your own party.
Look, there's plenty of beer in the kitchen.
Why don't you behave like the others?
Because I'm not like the others, chickie.
Now, you have a little taste, huh? Come on, you have a little taste.
- Excuse me, Bunny. - Come on, chickie, drink.
Come on, chickie, you have a little taste.
You have a taste.
Well, now, who do we have here?
-You and your friends better leave. -They'll leave.
They'll leave when I say. I'm not ready yet.
I guess you didn't understand me. I'm telling you to leave.
-Huh? -Get out!
Well, you put it like that, I guess we'll have to leave.
Beautiful bar, isn't it?
-What are you looking at, funny face? -Hi.
Don't worry, baby. Just stay behind me.
Anything you say, sweetie.
Come on, blondie, wanna play? Come on, let's play.
Huh, chicken? Come on, let's play.
I'm gonna mess up that pretty blond face of yours now.
Ah, ah, ah. Careful. Careful.
Watch those pretty blue eyes, baby.
Careful, now.
Who needs this?
All right.
- All right. - Oh, no.
Stay right where you are. This party's all finished.
Line up, line up.
Line up. Come on, line up.
What do you think this is anyway? Come on, let's shape up.
We're taking you all. This is a 1 0-4.
We're all-- You're gonna.... Ahem.
Watch him. Watch him.
Bu--
I can explain everything, Father.
Father?
He must be the police chaplain.
Are you his daughter?
-Yes. -Yipe!
You, hold it down.
Sergeant, send them in. One at a time.
Yes, sir.
Let's start with you.
I refuse to say anything till I speak with my mother.
On your feet.
-Nobody home. -Ah, ah.
-After you, lieutenant. -ln.
Aren't you going to question me?
I thought I would spare us both that humiliation.
Now, Dad. Dad.
I told you to go back to your motel.
I know, but I got to explain about Bunny.
My daughter doesn't need your explanation. Stay away from her.
-You understand? -Yes, sir, but it's--
You are confined to your home and you're not to leave without my permission.
Now, get in the car.
But, Dad, don't I get to explain about anything?
Your actions tonight leave little need for explanation.
Now get in.
-What are you doing? -Good morning, Mrs. Yates.
When I gave you kitchen privileges, I didn't expect all of this.
What have you got there?
Wheat germ.
Tiger's milk.
Vitamins.
Cod-liver oil.
-And liver extract. -Liver....
How do they know they're eating oatmeal with all that glop in it?
Well, that's what gives them their bounce.
They've got plenty of that already. Now get out of here, I've got work to do.
Sure you wouldn't like wheat germ in orange juice?
Oh, no. No, thank you.
The only thing I ever put in my orange juice is gin.
-Gin? -Oh, uh, doctor's orders.
-You have some kind of a condition? -Oh, no.
No, me and my doctor just like to get drunk together.
Oh, yeah.
Of course, it just gives me an appetite.
And with a figure like mine...
...who needs it?
Well, Mrs. Yates, you've got...
...some nice little figure there, if you ask me.
Hey.
You can get germs from doing that.
Where is that flea-brain I hired to take care of you?
Still asleep, I guess.
My first day in Palm Springs, I end up in jail.
Wonder where this one will lead to.
Well, to another party, if you like.
Where? Where? Who?
Eric's giving me a night on the town...
...and he told me I could invite the guests.
He says he's got a special surprise for later on in the evening.
It must be love.
Be nice if it was, but....
-I don't know, I guess you never know. -Well, at least you get a shot at it.
Don't you?
Not me.
For some reason, all men tell me I remind them of their brothers.
I don't believe that.
-Well, it's true. -Ah!
Not that I can understand it. But look at me.
What more can a man ask for?
I'm strong, I'm healthy, good teeth.
-You're a very pretty girl. -What makes you think so?
Well, you got a real cute figure and you got awfully pretty legs, you....
Wait a second.
Come on.
-Get right down here, lady. -What are you gonna do?
I am going to make a new woman out of you.
Well, I can't knock that. Go, with my blessings.
-Hey, Boom-Boom, where's the laundry? -Over there next to the driveway.
Oh, thank you, Boom-Boom. Oh....
Aah!
Hey, what's the big idea?
I'm getting tired of being pushed in this pool.
Have you and Amanda got some kind of bet going?
Oh, boy, all the clothes are sinking to the bottom.
Don't just stand there laughing, you crazy kid.
Boy, wait till my mother sees this. Are you gonna get it.
Am I gonna get it?
We gotta stop this. Go get help.
Why? We got the only pool in town with a head on it.
Turn off the waterfall. Do something.
Jim!
Did you blow your stack? This is no place to do your laundry.
Never mind the jokes.
Get me out of here before Mrs. Yates finds out.
Give me your hand.
-Biff, Biff, Biff. -Jim, Jim, Jim.
It's okay, Biff, you're all right. I got you.
You all right?
Hey, mister, where you going?
-Maybe I'd better come back later. -No, they're just cleaning the patio.
-Go right ahead. -Okay.
You okay, Biff? Feel better?
Yeah, thanks a lot, Dr. Jekyll.
Hey, dig the crazy snow.
-Bombs away. -Yeah.
How clever of Mrs. Yates to add that extra touch.
Last one in is a rotten egg.
Oh, honey, you missed the pool!
What in the world is this?
This is the biggest Alka-Seltzer I've ever seen.
Oh, I can see Boom-Boom's fine hand in this.
-Boom-Boom! -Now, don't lose your temper, Mrs. Yates.
Did you call me, Mom?
Oh, when I get my hands on you....
Look out, Mom, you're headed for the pool.
Maybe he's telling the truth, Mrs. Yates.
I wouldn't trust that kid for all the tea in China. Come on.
No, I tell you, we can't arrest anybody for making bubbles.
There's nothing in the books about it.
Well, get the fire department to go in there and hose the place down.
Bubbles.
A pool full of bubbles.
You haven't touched your orange juice, dear.
I put this in his orange juice.
Dad, may I please talk to you about what happened last night?
I've already told you the matter is closed.
I don't understand how it can be closed when it was never opened.
Aren't you interested in knowing how it started?
-Not in the least, I know how it finished. -But you don't know the circumstances.
The circumstances are that the daughter of the chief of police...
...was arrested last night.
I intend to see that it doesn't happen again.
You're not really going to keep me under house arrest?
You don't think I enjoy doing that sort of thing, do you?
Right at this moment, yes, I do.
Put that away.
All right, all right. You're on probation.
You may go about your business, but stay away from that boy.
-Oh, but he didn't have any.... -Ahem.
I mean....
Excuse me. Whatever you say, Dad.
Teenagers. Boys. Bubbles.
I wish you wouldn't excite yourself, dear.
Bunny explained everything to me, and I think she's perfectly innocent.
-Oh, you do, do you? -Yes.
As a matter of fact, I think the whole incident is sort of funny.
Well, I'm not surprised.
What do you mean?
I switched orange juice with you this morning.
- Good morning. - Hi.
-I was hoping I'd see you today. -Oh?
-Sit down. -Thanks.
Here, you can have your breakfast while I serenade you on the guitar.
No, thanks. I'm afraid I wouldn't appreciate it this morning.
You're worried about what happened last night, huh?
They really made a mess out of that girl's home, didn't they?
Sure did.
What happened to your hand? You didn't break anything?
Oh, no, it'd take more than a little banty-rooster fight to bust my hand.
We used to have some real dandies back home.
We used to fight for months at a time, taking off for Sunday naturally.
You know, my folks didn't take much to fighting on Sunday.
They must be really neat, huh?
I'd like you to meet my daddy. Now, he's a real character.
He's always joking with folks.
Man asked him one time, says:
"Mr. Fortune, what kind of work do you do? "
He says, "Well, son," he says, " I'm an old lndian fighter."
-Really? -Mm-hm. " I fight old lndians."
Oh, silly.
Yeah, I feel like going back sometimes.
Just shaking Hollywood once and for all.
-Don't you like Hollywood? -Well, it's not that.
It just seems like I run into a lot of phonies.
And one thing I can't stomach's a phony.
I don't see why people just don't act natural.
Just quit pretending all the time.
Maybe they feel that people won't like them as much...
...if they don't pretend a little bit.
That don't cause them to put on airs, does it?
Look, I think they'd be a lot better off if they'd just act natural.
Yeah, well....
Look, let's talk about you, huh?
One of the kids says that you go to school in Hawaii.
I don't wanna bore you with all the facts.
-Come on. -lt was very dull, honest.
Look, there's nothing about a pretty little Hawaiian girl that could be dull.
You might be very surprised if you got to know me.
I'd like to. How about tonight?
I'm sorry.
I'd really love to, Stretch, except I got another date tonight.
-The big spender. -Yep.
Kind of take it you don't care for him.
In a word, no.
I don't think he's the kind of guy you ought to be going out with.
You don't--? Let me tell you something, my dear.
I am old enough to take care of myself, thank you.
You know, when you get mad, you remind me of a very little girl.
A what?
I reckon I'll be moseying along before you hit me with my own guitar.
Yes. Mm-hm.
All right, men, now, listen and listen good.
Now, again.
If anybody asks us what we want to drink tonight...
...what are we going to say?
Milk.
And if anybody should offer us a cigarette to smoke...
...what are we gonna say?
No, thank you.
And if we happen to find ourselves in the company of a beautiful young lady...
...who says she's just dying to dance all night...
...watch the sunrise come up over the mountains....
What are we going to say?
Coach, that's kind of hard to say.
What are we going to say?
- Good night. - Right.
Okay, boys.
Now go out there and really enjoy yourselves.
Sorry. Thank you, coach. Thank you, coach.
Well, it looks like we have the whole place to ourselves tonight.
What'd you have in mind?
I thought maybe we could whip up a little excitement.
You know, I'll bet we could at that.
How about a little gin rummy, huh?
What's so exciting about that?
It depends on what you play for.
Oh....
I'll go get myself smelling real pretty and I'll be right back.
You little spitfire, you.
Amanda.
Hey, Amanda.
Hi, Biff.
Oh, how do you do? Would you tell Amanda to shake a leg?
Amanda?
How do I look?
Like somebody else.
Oh, that's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.
No, no, I mean you look wild.
There on the balcony in the moonlight.
Wild.
Do you look that good close up?
Your guess is as good as mine. Why don't you find out?
Look, we're late already.
Why don't you meet me downst--? Ah!
I can't, I promised Gail I'd put Boom-Boom to bed, and he's defying me.
-lt'll take time, but I'll get him to sleep. -I'll put the little monster to sleep.
I heard what you said and I'm not going to bed.
Oh, now, look, Boom-Boom, have a heart.
You want me to be a bachelor all my life?
-Give me a break, will you? -What's it worth to you?
Are you kidding? You can have anything I've got.
Let me check your change purse.
Ooh! Oh....
Here, I'll take this.
-Where is he? -lnside, blackmailing me.
Hey, what do you have here?
Instant night-night.
A half a glass of this and he'll be asleep in minutes.
I guess you could call it a "Milky" Finn.
I'm sorry.
Boy, you really do look great.
-All you got is 80 cents. -It's all yours.
-Plus a nice glass of milk. -I don't like milk.
You wanna grow up to be a big, strong basketball star like me, don't you?
Don't answer that. Here, come on, drink the milk.
Okay, but you gotta have some too.
Certainly. Sure.
I hate to see a man drink alone.
Well, cheers.
Okay, Boom-Boom, time for bed.
-You go right to sleep now, promise? -It's a deal.
Here we go.
-Night, Boom-Boom. -Night-night.
You miserable....
"You gotta have some too."
Oh, Biff!
Biff? Biff, what happened?
Biff, wake up.
Oh, Mrs. Yates can't find you in here. Biff.
Oh, Biff, I've gotta get you back to your own room.
Come on, come on.
Gin.
Oh, for crying out loud.
Oh, what's the matter?
Nothing. Nothing.
This ain't exactly kind of evening I planned, that's all.
You said you wanted a little excitement, didn't you?
I figure a tenth of a cent a point is exciting enough for anyone.
Two blitzes, that's seven, eight, nine, six.
Four, carry the three. You owe me $6.30.
Okay, put it on the books.
Say, what do you say we mix up a pitcher full of stingers, huh?
What do you mean, put it on the books? I want my 6.30.
Charge it.
And maybe a little moonlight dip, huh, Naomi?
-Now, listen, coach. -Fred.
Fred.
Call me Fred.
All right, Fred.
Fred.
-But, please, Fred, l-- -lt makes music when you say it.
I wanted to hear you call me Fred from the first minute I walked in here.
It was like something wild in the air, like....
Like walking into a hot florist shop.
-Don't talk like that. -What are you afraid of?
You're a woman, I'm a man. We're both healthy.
Oh, well, that we are, but, Fred, please, someone might be coming in here.
Naomi, why are you fighting me?
You're driving me crazy, you little spitfire, you.
Hup, two, three, four.
Come on, that's a boy, that's a boy. Come on, come on.
-Hup, two, three, four. -I can't stay awake.
Oh, Biff, come on. Hup, two, three.
Come on, everything's all right, come on. Hup, two.
Amanda's brought you some good, hot coffee.
Oh, Amanda.
What's that?
Oh, that's just some music to read by, baby.
Sounds more like the mating call of a dripping faucet.
Oh, doggone it.
Oh, for heaven's sake.
It's supposed to give champagne.
-Well, it has. -Oh, you....
I don't think you should be drinking in your condition.
-You shouldn't even be standing up. -Boy, is this thing fouled up.
Why don't we sit down and relax?
Of all times for this to break down on me.
Sweetheart.
Darling.
Amanda, will you stop it?
How do you expect me to fix this with you pawing at me all the time?
-Gee. -Biffie.
I gotta fix it if I'm gonna get anywhere with you.
I'm waiting.
Maybe if I took this connection and moved it over there.
-That's it. -Well, you asked for it, lover.
Well, I'll be-- Ooh!
Get lost.
Don't you yell at me, sister. This is the warden.
Open this door.
Oh! Oh!
-Oh, oh, are you in trouble. -Where can I hide?
I gotta get you out of here. Come on.
-No, no, no, not there. -ln here.
Under the bed. Under the bed.
Bye.
Amanda. Amanda.
Oh....
Ooh!
Just a minute. Be right there. Ooh! Ow.
Oh, you.
Hey, Ama--
Everybody out.
All right, troops, I have kept my word.
I've brought every man-jack of you this far alive and not too damaged.
-Yeah. -Are you still with me?
- Yeah. - Good lads.
I'll lead you through that door to food and drink...
...and then it's every man for himself.
Oh, Eric, I wanna play.
-ln front of all these people? -I meant poker, silly.
A little later, huh?
Your tables are ready. Right this way, please.
Here we are. Come on, everybody. Ladies and gentlemen, be seated.
-Hey, isn't that Stretch there? -I can't tell you how thrilled I am.
Hi, Stretch.
-Hi, Gail. -How are you?
Yeah!
Nervous?
A little, I suppose. I'm living pretty dangerously.
You know, your father wouldn't approve of a place like this in Palm Springs.
That's a gentle way of putting it.
And he's not exactly fond of me either, is he?
Oh, now, there I take exception.
He doesn't really know you.
I propose a toast.
Hear, hear.
I drink to the Easter orphans.
To all of us wicked little children banded together on the beaches and resorts...
...from Florida to California to observe the rites of spring.
- Yeah, yeah. - Here's to sex, sand and suds.
Enjoy them.
I want you all to know it's been a pleasure serving you.
Yeah!
Hey. Hi, Stretch.
Think we'll see each other after this week?
L.A. is only a hundred miles away.
-Might as well be a million. -Why?
Well, you won't have much time for anything but studying, working.
-Will you? -No.
You're right. There won't be too much time.
-See those sand dunes out there? -Mm-hm.
They're haunted.
Haunted? Ghosts, you mean?
Oh, yes, ghosts.
Ghosts of thousands of kids who come down here for Easter week...
...fall in love...
...and then when it's over, they go out there to say goodbye.
They write their initials in the sand.
It always seems so sad to come by later...
...after the wind has swept the sand smooth again.
Jim, what's going to happen to us?
I don't wanna say goodbye to you.
-Come on, we'd better get out of here. -I want to stay.
-Bunny, listen to me. -I have listened to you, Jim.
I know how you feel and I understand.
And whatever you want, I want too.
Bunny, I don't wanna make any mistakes with you.
Everything has to be perfect.
What happens in the meantime?
I don't want you knowing anyone else like that.
I love you.
-Bunny-- -Please, Jim.
I'm sorry.
I never thought I could feel like this.
It certainly is easy to see how people get themselves in a mess.
Bunny...
...I love you.
It would be so simple if I didn't.
I feel very foolish.
Help me, will you?
I'm no hero.
No.
No!
That's nice.
Okay, where's my surprise?
Oh, yes, to be sure.
I may not be a Greek, but behold, I bear gifts.
-Oh, Eric, is it really for me? -For you, only you.
Chosen with great patience and loving care.
Oh, gosh.
I love it, it's beautiful. Put it on.
No one's given me anything like this before. Not in my whole life.
-Good, let's go celebrate. -Okay.
Not back there.
-Come on, I wanna show the others. -Tomorrow, we'll show them tomorrow.
No, come on....
Oh, come on, please, Eric.
Come on.
Don't.
Stop that.
Stop that, I'm scared.
-Why don't you drop that line? -What line?
The scared bit. The moonlight on Waikiki.
You're from Hawaii like I'm from Timbuktu.
You don't need the phony trimmings, baby.
Now, why don't we swing a little?
No.
I've been waiting for this since I first laid eyes on you.
-Stop it. -You're not gonna back out.
No. Yes, I am. Stop that!
Don't do that. Don't!
Stop it! Stop it!
Stop it!
Get me out of here.
-Get me out of here. -Take it easy.
I wanna go home!
Gail.
You go near that girl again and I'll break you in half.
Now, you get out of here.
I better take her back to the motel.
It would be better if she went back with us, Stretch.
Well, maybe you're right. I can talk to her later.
Thanks, Jim.
-I'll take a shortcut across the dunes. -Oh, come on, give me a hand here.
We better not move him. You stay here, I'll get help.
Hello.
Mr. Blanchard, Eric. I've gotta talk with my father.
Eric, it's 6:00 in the morning.
Call me later at the office. We'll discuss it then.
Listen to me. Please listen to me.
I'm in trouble.
Find my father and tell him.
I'm afraid you don't understand.
-Your father-- -Will you shut up and listen?
I need him, Mr. Blanchard.
-Don't you understand that? -Eric.
Your father left me no number, no address.
He calls me. He didn't want anything interfering with his honeymoon.
His honeymoon.
See, Mr. Blanchard, I forgot how important my father's honeymoons are to him.
All right, Mr. Blanchard, I'll take care of it myself.
I'll interfere with his honeymoon.
-Do you have any idea how lucky you are? -Sir, l--
Never mind. I'll tell you how lucky you are.
That boy is still alive. Chances are good that he'll stay alive.
If he died, you'd be an accessory to manslaughter.
Here's the statement of the leader of that rock-hunting club.
-He sign it? -Yes, sir.
You can tell him he can go. And thank him.
Right.
Witness says he saw the whole thing and you didn't have anything to do with it.
That's right.
He says you just happened to be passing by.
-That's not exactly the truth. -What is the truth?
Did you have anything to do with this drag race?
I knew what was happening and I tried to stop it.
-Why didn't you say that? -You didn't give me a chance, sir.
He says you pulled the boy out of the wreck...
...when it started to burn.
-ls that true? -Yes, sir.
Mm.
Well, what do you know about this other boy? This Dean?
Not much.
He's pretty much on his own. Rich, not easy to know.
Have any idea where he might have gone?
No, sir.
Well, we'll find him, sooner or later.
-You can go. -Thank you.
Excuse me.
-It's about Bunny. -Yes?
-I'd like to call her if you wouldn't mind. -I'm sorry.
These phones are for official use only.
Cowboy's gonna be all right.
I just thought you'd like to know.
I'm sorry, but I don't get the joke.
The joke's my father.
Boy, I'd like to have seen his face when he saw the headlines.
"Financier's Son Arrested for Murder."
That would've hurt. Would've broken him into pieces.
He might have to resign from the yacht club.
The decent society folk...
...wouldn't want to be associated with the father of a murderer.
He might've even had to stop getting married for a while.
I had him nailed to the wall and you tell me the cowboy's gonna be all right.
-Don't you see the humor in that? -You're mixed up about a few things.
Mixed up? Forget it, I know where I am.
He doesn't get off the hook that easy. Oh, no.
I'm going there and I'm gonna talk anyway.
I was drunk and I tried to kill someone with my car.
And I fed liquor to a girl who wasn't 21.
-Now, take it easy. -You were a witness.
-You saw everything, didn't you? -Why don't you shut up?
Haven't you caused enough stink around here?
-Let go of me. -Do you know what you are?
You're a sniveling, whimpering little kid that feels sorry for himself.
You and your father can cut one another up however you like.
Don't destroy everyone who tried to be your friend.
How do you think this will look for Bunny if she gets involved?
And what about Gail?
Don't you have any feelings for her at all?
Does everybody have to get down in that gutter with you?
Stretch.
Hi, Gail.
Hey, what'd you do to yourself?
-You look like a different girl. -I am a different girl.
Stretch, my name isn't Gail Lewis.
It's a name I used on a driver's license.
-I had to prove I was 21. -Well, you don't have to tell me that.
No, I want to.
I'm a phony just like all those people you were talking about yesterday.
Everything you know about me is a lie.
I've never even seen Hawaii.
I go to Hollywood High...
...and I live in a nice duplex...
...in one of the less expensive parts of Hollywood.
And I earned the money to go on this trip...
...by babysitting last winter.
And I'm awful sorry.
I know I was wrong.
Goodbye.
Where you going?
Back to being 1 9.
Stretch...
...I hope I meet you again someday.
Well, gosh, you never can tell. It just might happen.
What about you?
Well, when I get all patched up...
...I think I'm going back to Hollywood.
There's a little girl there I wanna see.
The only trouble is I don't even know her name.
It's Jane.
Jane Hoover.
-Hi, Jane. -Hi, Stretch.
Would you mind very much if I kissed you goodbye?
That would be the best medicine I could ever get.
Bye.
Ah! Ooh!
All right, here's the bus now. Pick them up, let's go.
Hup, two, hup, two, hup, two. Let's go, come on, snap to it.
What's the matter? You wanna search my luggage for towels?
I already did.
-Very funny. -Thank you.
Well, goodbye, Mrs. Yates.
Fred.
Yeah?
Do you think you'll be coming back this way?
Oh, no. Not me.
I don't need to come back here to be insulted, Mrs. Yates.
Naomi.
Call me Naomi.
That's better.
Come back in the slow season and I'll give you special rates.
I'll do that, Naomi.
Well....
Well, goodbye, Boom-Boom.
Goodbye, Mr. Campbell. I hope you come here again.
Gosh, Boom-Boom, you really mean that?
No. My mother told me to say it.
-Well, anyway, he's honest. -That he is.
Naomi.
Fred.
Have a good trip, give us a call when you come back to Palm Springs.
You can count on it, sir.
Dad, would you mind?
Not at all, go right ahead.
-One moment of privacy? -Mm?
Oh, yes. Yes, of course, l....
If you'll excuse me, I think I'll check the license plates on the bus.
I'll miss you.
I'll be back before you know it.
You're going to make an awfully good-looking doctor.
Sure, you say that now, but wait seven years.
I'll wait.
Well, I trust you young people have enjoyed yourselves in Palm Springs?
- Yeah. - Right.
And I trust you will be returning again next Easter?
- Yeah. - Yeah, sure.
As a special favor to the police department...
...would you please bring your mothers and fathers with you?
We are tired of being your babysitters.
Darling.
Baby.
It's been just great being with you.
I'll never forget it.
-Take care of yourself. -Drive carefully.
Hm?
I thought you two were driving to Los Angeles together.
-Oh, we are. -We are.
Good. Good.
See you in town, Dr. Jekyll.
So long, chief.
It's all right, Jim, just get on the bus. Okay, driver, take it away.
Goodbye. See you, coach.
- Goodbye. - So long.
Hey, coach, aren't you coming with us?
-Fred, that's you. -Sure, I'm coming with you.
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